


call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me

by wikelia



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Texting, and they're kids, pop culture references, they're in high school and they're dumb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-19 05:35:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17595440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wikelia/pseuds/wikelia
Summary: ‘did you really just send me off with the kim possible theme song’‘if you just call my name!’‘wow you’re a bit of a dork aren’t you?’





	1. Chapter 1

(12:10)  _ the next time i see you i am going to KICK the SHIT out of you i swear _

(12:12) ouch. harsh. but i’m assuming it was for someone else.

(12:13)  _ oh _

(12:13)  _ fuck _

(12:13)  _ yeah _

(12:14)  _ sorry, that was meant for my friend _

(12:14)  _ she changed her number recently and i havent deleted this one yet _

(12:15) what did she do to deserve you kicking “the SHIT” out of her?

(12:15) (mildly concerning, by the way)

(12:17)  _ she borrowed my homework to copy _

(12:17)  _ said she would give it back before my class started _

(12:18)  _ guess who DIDNT have their homework when it was being collected _

(12:21) yikes.

(12:21) yeah, i’d be mad too.

(12:22)  _ (its not concerning if shes my friend) _

(12:22) depends. WILL you kick the shit out of her?

(12:23)  _ no, ill probably just _

(12:23)  _ i dont know _

(12:23)  _ punch her arm _

(12:30) see, that’s much better.

(12:32)  _ your welcome, stranger _

(12:32)  _ i’m happy my friend-punishing isnt interfering with your morals _

_ ********* _

(12:55)  _ hello? _

(12:55)  _ was it because i called you stranger? _

(12:55)  _ because like _

(12:56)  _ no offense _

(12:56)  _ you are literally just someone i accidentally texted _

*********

(2:18) oh, sorry.

(2:18) i had lunch and then class started and the teacher is really strict so

(2:18) you know.

(2:20) (why would I take offense to you calling me a stranger?)

(2:23)  _ i dont know, maybe you wanted nudes _

(2:23)  _ girls dont send strangers nudes _

(2:24) are you saying that once you get to know me you’re going to send me nudes???

(2:24)  _ are you asking for them? _

(2:25) gods, no.

(2:26)  _ good, that response was cock-or-block for you _

(2:26) HA

(2:27) I refuse to believe you were gonna pass up the opportunity to mess with me if I wanted nudes

(2:28)  _ okay, fine, pop quiz _

(2:28)  _ an old dude asks you for nudes _

(2:29)  _ how do you most effectively mess with him? _

(2:30) hmmmm.

(2:30) what website is this on?

(2:31)  _ omegle _

(2:31) WHY WAS I ON OMEGLE

(2:30)  _ you wanted to make friends _

(2:30) considering my life so far

(2:31) that’s not far off for me, I’ll take it.

(2:31) you can’t send pictures on omegle, though.

(2:31)  _ i feel like youve had some extensive experience with omegle _

(2:32) I may or may not have used it a little during...ninth grade?

(2:32)  _ oh god you poor thing _

(2:32)  _ anyway _

(2:32)  _ he asks for your kik _

(2:35) oh shit uh

(2:35) lovergirl420

(2:37)  _ THATS the best you can come up with? _

(2:37)  _ the sex bot gods have deemed you unworthy _

(2:38) guess I’ll be able to go on tumblr then.

(2:39)  _ omg _

(2:39)  _ youre pretty funny, you know _

(2:39) thank you, I aim to please.

(2:41) if you had stuck around for the end, “lovergirl420’ would only send pictures of shaggy.

(2:43)  _ nude shaggy? _

(2:47) why would you think I have nude shaggy on my phone????

(2:48)  _ fair question, however _

(2:48)  _ why would you have regular shaggy on your phone? _

(2:49)  _ i expected better _

(2:50) bold of you to assume shaggy didn’t just appear on my phone himself.

(2:51) that’s how powerful he is.

(2:53)  _ i give that meme TWO more days _

(2:54) then you’re being merciful

(2:54) i give it...a few more hours?

(2:56)  _ youre underestimating the shaggy meme fandom _

_ _

(3:00) that is horrifying, holy crap.

(3:00) 1. did you have that on your phone (in which case, you have no right to judge me) or did you search it up?

(3:01) 2. thor threw his axe at purple mcwarlord when he had all the infinity stones and hurt him, HE is the strongest.

(3:06)  _ youre telling me, i love him _

(3:06) _and no, i found it on google_

(3:07)  _ also “purple mcwarlord” lmao _

(3:09) so, a list of things I know about you so far:

(3:09) you like thor

(3:10) you’re definitely on tumblr

(3:10) a number of dudes have been hurt because you messed with them on omegle

(3:10) you have no qualms about hurting your friends

(3:11) you hate apostrophes???

(3:14)  _ ugh, im not gonna switch to the other keyboard just to put a little line between my letters _

(3:14) don’t you switch for the comma?

(3:15)  _ commas are worth it _

(3:15) nice logic.

(3:16) i gotta go, my cousin is goading me into playing chess.

(3:18)  _ cant say no to that _

(3:18)  _ but while youre gone _

(3:18)  _ heres what i know about YOU _

(3:19)  _ you suck at making fake kik names _

(3:19)  _ pacifist?? maybe?? _

(3:20)  _ punctuation freak if i ever saw one _

(3:20)  _ more funny than the average person, honestly _

(3:21)  _ i’d like to keep talking to you if we’re not like, too far apart in age _

(3:21)  _ see, that was two apostrophes, just for you  _

*********

(5:34) I’m honored.

(5:40)  _ did you win the chess game? _

(5:42) I always do.

(5:43)  _ oho, someones a bit of a braggart _

(5:44) if you met my cousin, you’d understand.

*********

(11:03) I’m a 17 year old guy, by the way.

(11:04) and I’d like to keep talking too.

(11:20)  _ huh _

(11:20)  _ im a 17 year old girl _

(11:20)  _ weird _

(11:30) it’d be weirder if you were, like, 40

(11:32)  _ i could be _

(11:33)  _ i could be a viking for all you know _

(11:36) aaaand “viking” is your contact name now. thanks.

(11:39)  _ so i guess were gonna keep talking? _

(11:41) I guess we are.

(11:41) so, you know.

(11:42) call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me.

(11:43)  _ did you really just send me off with the kim possible theme song _

(11:43) if you just call my name!

(11:45)  _ wow you’re a bit of a dork aren’t you? _

(11:45) just a little bit.

(11:47)  _ great. so youre “dork” in my phone now _

(11:47) excellent.

(11:47) i’ll talk to you soon, viking.

(11:48)  _ count on it, dork _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiccup is plain. Astrid is italicized. Ruffnut is underlined.

(10:11) knock knock

(10:15) _really?_

(10:15) _this is how were gonna start the day?_

(10:17) knock knock

(10:17) _alright, fine_

(10:17) _whos there_

(10:18) annie

(10:18) _annie who?_

(10:20) annie-thing you can do, i can do better!

(10:21) _i can tell knock-knock jokes better than you!_

(10:21) nice clapback.

(10:23) _thanks, i try_

(10:23) _knock knock_

(10:25) _doctor_

(10:25) DOCTOR WHO????

(10:26) _nope, just the regular doctor!_

(10:26) but then how will we time travel?

(10:27) _wait, hang on_

(10:27) _before we go on_

(10:27) _i have to ask you something super important_

(10:29) yeah?

(10:29) _youre not….._

(10:30) _a superhwolockian, are you?_

(10:30) _cause that is make or break for any possible friendship here_

(10:33) okay listen

 _._ (10:34) _...you didnt_

(10:34) _how could you do it?_

(10:35) individually, those are some good shows!

(10:36) also

(10:36) for me

(10:36) it was

(10:36) uh

(10:38) _dont do it_

(10:38) superavengewholock

(10:39) _oh my god_

(10:39) I was young and impressionable!

(10:40) _youre dead to me_

(10:41) well then I guess this friendship is over before it even started.

(10:41) _i wouldnt call us friends_

(10:41) _more like_

(10:41) _mutual joke tellers?_

(10:42) _at least before that god awful knock knock joke_

(10:42) you don’t hold back, do you?

(10:46) _nah, id rather not_

(10:47) _your dorkiness has terminated whatever this was_

(10:48) you have gotten EVERY reference I’ve made so far.

(10:48) and I will bet 20 bucks that you are as big a dork as I am.

(10:50) _nope, im one of the cool kids_

 (10:50) fine.

(10:51) but I hate when friendships end.

(10:52) like in the harry potter books

(10:52) when luna and neville stop being friends to date instead.

(10:54) _what?_

(10:55) _luna and neville didnt end up with each other in the books, neville married hannah abbott_

(10:55) _and luna married rolf scamander_

(10:55) HA

(10:55) THAT WASNT IN THE BOOKS.

(10:56) YOU JUST KNOW THAT

(10:56) BECAUSE YOU’RE

(10:56) _goddammit_

(10:56) A

(10:56) DORK

(10:57) _ugh_

(10:58) victory is sweet, viking.

*********

(10:32)  hey so you know how i borrowed your hw that one time 

(10:35) _you dont wanna do this, ruff_

(10:37)  i may or may not want it again 

(10:37) _RUFF_

(10:38)  i dont wanna read the articles suuuuuue me! 

(10:39) trump did blah blah and idiots are everywhere i dont need articles to tell me that

(10:58) _it might do you some good_

(11:00)  wow respond late much 

(11:00) _i was texting someone else_

(11:01)  tuff? 

(11:01) _no_

(11:01)  that girl in your physics class? 

(11:02) _no_

(11:02)  your mom? 

(11:02) _no!_

(11:06)  who else do you have to text? i should be your one and only priority right now 

(11:06) _that guy i texted by accident yesterday_

(11:07)  he could be some serial killer or stalker you know 

(11:07) _eh, whats he gonna do, track me through my texts?_

(11:10)  yeah, thats EXACTLY it, dummy 

(11:12)  hard to believe teachers like you so much when you sound like an idiot half the time 

(11:13) _oh, relax, were just talking and joking around_

(11:13) _and if youre so smart, you can do those articles on your own_

(11:14)  nooooooooooo 

(11:14)  i promise not to say anything more 

(11:14)  text as many weird boys as you want 

(11:14)  do you want me to search up numbers for you 

(11:15)  will that make you give me the answers 

(11:15) _im not giving you jack SHIT, ruff_

(11:19)  what if i agree to hook up with you 

(11:19) _oh my gosh_

(11:20) _you make one passing comment and suddenly you friend thinks youre in love with her_

(11:21)  its okay, astrid, i know im hot 

(11:23) _youre not that hot when youre bugging me_

(11:24)  shall i whisper seductively in your ear instead 

(11:24)  *whispers* give me your homewoooork 

(11:26) astrid

(11:28)  are you texting your boy again i swear astrid 

(11:28) aaaaastrid

*********

(11:24) hello gorgeous what is your name

(11:24) _you have about three minutes to explain_

(11:25) ajhgjhegfh

(11:25) rugerhgggggggggr45

(11:25) _uh…_

(11:25) _dork?_

(11:26) oh gods, i’m sorry.

(11:26) my cousin got my phone and he

(11:26) well, you know.

(11:27) _is this the same cousin you were playing chess with?_

(11:27) bingo.

(11:28) _he seems like quite the character_

(11:29) oh, he is.

(11:30) it’s always “look at hiccup and how small he is” and “hiccup is a loser but i am the benevolent cousin and i still love him”

(11:30) _aww_

(11:32) _wait hold the fuck up_

(11:32) okay, potty mouth.

(11:33) _your name is HICCUP????????_

(11:33) ah

(11:33) shit.

(11:34) _tell me your name is not hiccup_

(11:36) would if i could, viking.

(11:36) _omg tell me your name is NOT hICCUP_

(11:37) MY PARENTS THOUGHT IT WOULD WARD OFF GNOMES AND TROLLS

(11:37) _gnomes and trolls?_

(11:37) _holy shit_

(11:37) _youre not from berk are you?_

(11:38) uh, yeah.

(11:38) how’d you know?

(11:38) (creep).

(11:39) _oh shush_

(11:40) _youre a few towns away from me everyone talks about you guys and your weird traditions_

(11:40) _YOU TOTALLY GO TO HOOLIGAN HIGH DONT YOU_

(11:41) seriously is this information just common knowledge or

(11:41) _YOUR TEAMS SUCKS AT TENNIS_

(11:43) more of a basketball person myself, wouldn’t know.

(11:43) _this is the greatest day of my life_

(11:44) is this pick on hiccup day?????

(11:45) _yes, HICCUP, it is_

(11:45) oh gods.

(11:45) _what do you call it when you have a stomach spasm_

(11:46) NOT ORIGINAL.

(11:46) _A HICCUP_

(11:46) _HA_

_*********_

(11:48) _his name is hiccup_

(11:55)  oh my gosh, what a loser 

(11:56)  oh noooo, youre into losers 

(11:56)  youre fucked 

(11:56)  were all doomed 

(11:56)  oh yeah i got the homework from an obscure website 

(11:57)  so suck on that hofferson 

(11:59)  (you nerd go get the weirdo) 


End file.
